April 2012
2 posts
professorbreadsticks asked: soundcloud[diggiddy dot]com/professorbreadsticks/meteors
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March 2012
18 posts
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psa 2.2 will be up later
me and drunk thunder thighs are going to explore the world of creepy paste or whatever theyre called. but first i wanna see how much bleach i can have her drink before she realizes its not southern comfort. what a christian time we are having my ectodrunk and i.
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rumpmaster asked: also i have 500 girlfriends.
rumpmaster asked: also you will never have this screen name, commence weeping
rumpmaster asked: If you break the laws of physics, you're gonna get arrested dumbass
miac15-deactivated20120423 asked: HAA HAA HOO HOO HEE HEE, Oh aniki you make my heart go Doki Doki~
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louiepatoodie asked: b-bro please take me as your disciple of coolness! Bless me with your ways of swag so i may woo the ladies.
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i dont take no orders from no one. not you and especially not from any “”“laws of physics”“.
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you get nothing today
you get nothing. nothing at all. check the queue there is nothing for you. no psa. not even a mailbox. sorry. no. no i am not sorry. and you are stupid. you will live this week without guidance. you will drown and die in the sea of your own pignorance.
as merciful as i am/drunk i have decided on the following course of action:
over the course of this week you will have one chance to plead with...
tacittactician asked: But soft? What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Brotherkin is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and turn around, because boy howdy is that reprehensible mouth of yours about to receive a fistful of tempered steel to compensate for the egregious swill you pump onto the internet. Hey, babe. You wanna go. You wanna go? My name is Dirk Strider, and I bestow unto you the most...
candymushroom asked: I present to thee, Prince of Plushrumps, the man known as Jake English. jakeenglishvoice(.)tumblr(.)com/
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Anonymous asked: yo the lovley audio files will not play what is up with this
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i rise look at shit and comment on
the ignorance in this world is disgusting as two sweaty meat cheeks closing in on one lone plush rump.
i gaze to the yonder. disgust crosses my shades. my hat clenches in frustration/constipation.
ignorance. ignorance is errwherr.
perhaps i have left this world to fester in it’s own dipshit juice for too damn long.
perhaps i will send a message. perhaps i will send my bless-ed message of...
December 2011
22 posts
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Salutations Friends
Hello,
I am Mr. Egbert, temporarily filling in for Mr. Strider who is currently “talking” with the forces that govern this post-life existence due to the “stir” caused by his recent album. Worry not! I doubt his talk will be long, but this has left you, my responsible young members of the Homestuck fandom, without a Public Service Lesson for the time being. I state for a...
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complete album post
here are all the tracks to the album that broke the homestuck record for causing the most children to be born in under one hour.
intbroduction
sexxxy bible study
taking ms. lalonde “”“”downtown”“”
putting the egBUTT in egbert
a very special brose guest story
hot bro on bro on bro on bro axxxtion
xxxmaturexxxoldmanharleyxxx
SECRET TRACK WHERE DID...
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hot porn album is dropping in 5 minutes
legal disclaimer:
you can’t sue me.
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8 traxxx of hot
the three x’s mean it’s hot like porno. the most nsfwbush album ever should drop later today. pants everywhere should drop soon after.
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broll
it’s like real voting except it sucks less. two choices:
post new sexxxxy album first at end of the week
post the mailbox thing now
whichever gets the most votes by the time i’m done irrigating felt out of dave’s esophagus might happen.
hold still you little fucker.
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well shit the bed.
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November 2011
10 posts
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ways to make your egbert cry.
mention cakefarts.
dress up as his child for a halloween party.
dress up as his child and talk about cakefarts.
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(( For future ref. ))
(( This is pre-scratch Bro. Everything that’ll happen in the updates won’t affect his past, if what I’m inferring about Nanna being born in the kids’ session is different from her upbringing in this session being correct. (Also pretty sure it’s now the kids are the guardians, seeing as SBaHJ the movie.) Including the fact that I’m sticking with Calvin for his...
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the talk.
me: ok drew.
dave: its dave
me: ok danielle i gotta tell you about i dunno sex or something.
no incesto.
but.
youre growing up to be a nice "eh" lady and its about time you know how to protect yourself.
dave: bro ive grown up on the internet ive accidentally came home early from school i know this stu--
whats with the pizza
me: well the best way to appeal to your invalid mind is through metaphors involving food.
idk at least thats what lalonde told me when she gave me this talk.
except my only notes from that are drawings of boobs i drew on my arm.
so i have to wing this.
so uh.
see this.
this filmy stuff.
that plastic shits like a condom.
pizza stays in and nothing changes. like a penis.
but sometimes you gotta start cookin.
so you take that fucker out of there and stick it into the oven or microwave or bonfire of puppets which will be our allegory for a vagina.
instead of twenty minutes its like nine months i mean its a cold as fuck pizza.
that pizza will grow into a pump pizza. except with the whole baby thing that doesnt work because you cant eat a baby.
well you can but.
you just dont get in trouble for eating a pizza.
where was i going with this.
uh.
i guess.
like.
sometimes it can get burnt.
thats like a miscarriage.
and thats all i really have here.
dave: so
gettin this straight
your knob falls off when you have sex and gets lodged in the snatch at high heat and forms into a baby
me: uh.
i guess?
(at that point dave stopped eating for a week and dropped pizza entirely.)
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click.
brotherkin asked: Message this to any person who you find charming, sweet and just simply admirable. Keep the love spreading. ♥ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
xtoxiix asked: Message this to any person who you find charming, sweet and just simply admirable. Keep the love spreading. ♥ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧