December 2011
22 posts
6 tags
Dec 26th
46 notes
12 tags
Dec 18th
102 notes
1 tag
Salutations Friends
Hello, I am Mr. Egbert, temporarily filling in for Mr. Strider who is currently “talking” with the forces that govern this post-life existence due to the “stir” caused by his recent album. Worry not! I doubt his talk will be long, but this has left you, my responsible young members of the Homestuck fandom, without a Public Service Lesson for the time being. I state for a...
Dec 18th
16 notes
14 tags
complete album post
here are all the tracks to the album that broke the homestuck record for causing the most children to be born in under one hour. intbroduction sexxxy bible study taking ms. lalonde “”“”downtown”“” putting the egBUTT in egbert a very special brose guest story hot bro on bro on bro on bro axxxtion xxxmaturexxxoldmanharleyxxx SECRET TRACK WHERE DID...
Dec 18th
63 notes
5 tags
Dec 18th
35 notes
18 tags
Dec 18th
44 notes
6 tags
Dec 18th
32 notes
7 tags
Dec 18th
78 notes
6 tags
Dec 18th
40 notes
6 tags
Dec 18th
68 notes
7 tags
Dec 18th
65 notes
hot porn album is dropping in 5 minutes
legal disclaimer: you can’t sue me.
Dec 18th
13 notes
7 tags
Dec 17th
71 notes
3 tags
8 traxxx of hot
the three x’s mean it’s hot like porno. the most nsfwbush album ever should drop later today. pants everywhere should drop soon after.
Dec 17th
8 notes
8 tags
Dec 16th
83 notes
10 tags
broll
it’s like real voting except it sucks less. two choices: post new sexxxxy album first at end of the week post the mailbox thing now whichever gets the most votes by the time i’m done irrigating felt out of dave’s esophagus might happen. hold still you little fucker.
Dec 13th
13 notes
5 tags
Dec 12th
124 notes
3 tags
Dec 11th
127 notes
8 tags
Dec 11th
127 notes
11 tags
well shit the bed.
Dec 11th
12 notes
Dec 6th
756 notes
10 tags
Dec 5th
178 notes
November 2011
10 posts
3 tags
Nov 28th
151 notes
7 tags
ways to make your egbert cry.
mention cakefarts. dress up as his child for a halloween party. dress up as his child and talk about cakefarts.
Nov 12th
56 notes
Nov 11th
1,094 notes
1 tag
(( For future ref. ))
(( This is pre-scratch Bro. Everything that’ll happen in the updates won’t affect his past, if what I’m inferring about Nanna being born in the kids’ session is different from her upbringing in this session being correct. (Also pretty sure it’s now the kids are the guardians, seeing as SBaHJ the movie.) Including the fact that I’m sticking with Calvin for his...
Nov 11th
10 tags
the talk.
me: ok drew.
dave: its dave
me: ok danielle i gotta tell you about i dunno sex or something.
no incesto.
but.
youre growing up to be a nice "eh" lady and its about time you know how to protect yourself.
dave: bro ive grown up on the internet ive accidentally came home early from school i know this stu--
whats with the pizza
me: well the best way to appeal to your invalid mind is through metaphors involving food.
idk at least thats what lalonde told me when she gave me this talk.
except my only notes from that are drawings of boobs i drew on my arm.
so i have to wing this.
so uh.
see this.
this filmy stuff.
that plastic shits like a condom.
pizza stays in and nothing changes. like a penis.
but sometimes you gotta start cookin.
so you take that fucker out of there and stick it into the oven or microwave or bonfire of puppets which will be our allegory for a vagina.
instead of twenty minutes its like nine months i mean its a cold as fuck pizza.
that pizza will grow into a pump pizza. except with the whole baby thing that doesnt work because you cant eat a baby.
well you can but.
you just dont get in trouble for eating a pizza.
where was i going with this.
uh.
i guess.
like.
sometimes it can get burnt.
thats like a miscarriage.
and thats all i really have here.
dave: so
gettin this straight
your knob falls off when you have sex and gets lodged in the snatch at high heat and forms into a baby
me: uh.
i guess?
(at that point dave stopped eating for a week and dropped pizza entirely.)
Nov 5th
74 notes
7 tags
click.
Nov 3rd
459 notes
brotherkin asked: Message this to any person who you find charming, sweet and just simply admirable. Keep the love spreading. ♥ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Nov 3rd
15 notes
xtoxiix asked: Message this to any person who you find charming, sweet and just simply admirable. Keep the love spreading. ♥ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Nov 3rd
5 notes
11 tags
Nov 3rd
29 tags
Nov 3rd
150 notes
October 2011
21 posts
misspyrope asked: HOW WOULD YOU F33L 1F 1 BON3D YOUR YOUNG3R BROTH3R. 1 H4V3 P41LS R34DY 4ND 3V3RYTH1NG 1'M JUST W41T1NG FOR YOUR BL3SS1NG.
Oct 18th
32 notes
Oct 16th
264 notes
2 tags
Oct 16th
55 notes
5 tags
Oct 16th
264 notes
fuzzy-bearington asked: So, basically what you're telling me here is... your moves are dead?
Oct 15th
5 notes
Anonymous asked: Do you remember the person who put the cursor over your face so you'd have a mustache? Well your cursor keeps turning into a block. You have a Hitlerstache, bro. How do you feel about that.
Oct 15th
2 notes
fuzzy-bearington asked: Bro, how sick are your moves?
Oct 15th
16 notes
stormekh asked: hey wait it's not tuesday
Oct 15th
3 notes
doov asked: it took me five minutes to find your goddamn assbo i mean askbox anyway does dad's manbatter taste like cake from all the baked goods he ingests
Oct 15th
2 notes
shimmersauce asked: Hey Bro, who was your first love?
Oct 15th
27 notes
stormekh asked: what sexual positions are you NOT willing to try
Oct 15th
7 tags
Oct 15th
tmi tuesday.
Oct 15th
6 tags
eh magic tricks are more of egberts bag. hey. speaking of egbert and bags i guess i do have one madgix trix. at least he signed my cast.
Oct 15th
273 notes
8 tags
though i think wed have less man-icure mondays and more monster truck mondays in that scenario.
Oct 13th
537 notes
6 tags
Oct 13th
56 notes
8 tags
Oct 13th
1,879 notes
Oct 12th
173 notes